10 Funny and Predictable Things in Bollywood Movies

Movies have always been the favorite pass time for majority of people. There are different and interesting kind of stories in all our Indian Languages. No matter which language or what the story, there is always something that makes a movie unique. A movie can be unique for being the most boring one too, if you get what I mean. You go to the theatre with all the hopes to enjoy a great movie, but then the movie just puts you to sleep, makes up to a memorable one that is remembered for years later and you would have something to talk about with your friends. Sometimes its our experiences that makes a movie  extraordinary, even if it won the worst category. Of course, good movies with a great story, direction, acting or for any other reason is remembered for hard work, but lets talk about the silliest things that we might have actually enjoyed.

Bollywood movies are known for some of the great things over the years and their own trend which was shown in almost all movies at a certain period. The 80-90's were a time of golden movies though few of the things are outdated now. But have you ever learned anything from movies? If yes, do not forget to share it in comments. For now, let me share a few that I realized after watching so many movies for decades.

1. Rain and dance are in a partnership deal

The song Jeena Tere Liye from Dum comes to my mind the minute I talk about dance in the rain, but we have many other songs and most of them are our favorites too. But what is the connection here? We Indians, at least the movie makers are so obsessed to shoot songs when it rains and the actors dance. What is funny you ask? Not just the actors, but everyone around them who might be just walking or running to take shelter, will also start dancing. Seriously? All I can think of in real life, is people honking behind me, the puddles where I may fall if I dance, The wet dress which definitely not going to make me look like Dia Mirza, and most definitely I will be surrounded by zillion of angry faces. It’s highly possible that I might be carried of to the nearest asylum. But then we are talking about Bollywood films, dancing in the rain while all the people also join in is something normal to us.

2. The police always arrives in the end

I don’t know why but I always use to think in a fighting scene if the police did not come then the movie has not reached the end yet and there is still more to the story, if the movie got one so to speak. You see, our movies have changed our mind-set where the police always comes only in the end, especially the villain or the hero has no more energy left to fight or one of them is about to die. Why do our cops take so long to reach? Should we not trust the Google maps also then?

3. The attackers wait one by one to hit the Hero

Any one who learns how to fight from a Bollywood movie will surely be put down before he or she could even rise their hand. According to the Bollywood movie fight stunt, the hero is surrounded by the goons in a circular way and can be attacked from any side. But no, the guy who is right in front of the hero will be the only guy who would take a chance to hit the hero, while the others wait for the hero to finish hitting and then turn to them. Please do not ask why? No one knows why but my theory is that probably they were told to wait until the hero makes an eye contact. Blah!

4. Anyone can play a piano

I took piano classes a couple of years back and could not finish it as I got busy with work, family, kids. After sometime when I saw a piano, I had almost forgotten the keys and realised it need practice, to even play a proper line. But in our dear Bollywood movies, There is a piano and our hero just brushes his finger over the keys like a feather and right away dives in composing great songs like “Dil ke jharoke me tujko bitakar” or “Pyar Diwana Hota Hai”. Oh! Did I mention they are also great singers, composers, lyricists. If only we had someone like that in real life. Bollywood themselves could have profited in hiring one man for all the jobs. Lakhs and crores could have been saved. Anyways, our Bollywood has set a very high standard if someone is trying to impress their life partner.

5. Epic story: The twins are always separated

Indian movies are again obsessed with twins and their lives. Almost in every movie there will be birth of a twin pair and they get separated at birth. One is an evil twin and the other a good one, or one a poor and the other is rich until their paths are crossed. I wonder why there are no movies made where the twins actually stay together and the movie runs around their life? There is no drama or masala in it, I guess? Speaking of which, I wonder if I have a twin somewhere who is actually a better writer than me? I pray to meet her soon and do not mind to swap places if so.

6.Music that sets off every mood

Indian musicians have special talent that is still not recognized by the World. Any movie or even the regular tv series have distinct music where each character or the mood in a scene has a kind of music where you would know who is acting or what the mood of the scene even if you close your eyes and watch. The villain entry has a music, the hero entry has a different one, the heroine and also the main side character. Imagine this happening in real life, how easier things could have been. If some close relative is giving me a suggestion with wrong intention and though it may sound as good one, the music alerts me that she is evil. I get the clue, don’t believe her/him. Wow, how wonderfully helpful that would have been? But aise thodi na hoti hamari asli jindagi?

7. Damsel in distress

It’s high time that movies start showing or teaching our Indian girls as not to wait for someone else to fight their fight, because in real life there is no Rahul. When women are in trouble, there is always the hero who comes in time to save the heroine from whatever problem she is in and whisks her off to safety and then that would be the beginning of the romance. Even our fairy tales showed the same that Rapunzel could never get out of the castle until the hero comes and saves her. Why dint she think of getting down by her hair until Flynn came to the castle? Women are always portrayed as the second and they cannot do things without a man doing it for them. The World is changing fast, and women are independent today. They can do everything on their own and take care of themselves. Women do not need a man to fulfil their dreams. It’s time that movies show this too to change the thinking of both men and women.

8. Hero never ages while the heroine becomes sister, mother, dadima

Often we have seen in all languages the famous heroes stay acting as a hero even when they are old enough to act as a father but the heroines will age so fast that they get to play roles of only a supporting actress or as a mother. We have also seen movies where an actress who played the lead role against a hero will be the mother in another recent movie to the same hero. What is ironic is, the directors pick the heroes to act with heroines who are half the age of the hero probably and might be as old to be a daughter, but its ok to romance her on screen, since its just acting.  

9. Bomb defusing by hero is always successful

Most Bomb defusing scenes are so hilarious sometimes as we already know the outcome. Obviously, it is the hero who is defusing the bomb and you can’t kill a hero. We have seen these scenes in many movies and there is always a set of red, blue and yellow wires. Hero waits to cut the wires until the last second, before it explodes. But, we all know our dear hero cannot go wrong right?

10. Lipstick shades and size of Bindhi is different for villainess and Heroine

What to say about our Indian TV series which are as widely watched as the Box office movies. What sets apart the characters is their makeups, dressing sense and the overall appearances that they are made to look like. Villainess will wear dark purple, black, blue and other darkest, brightest shades of lipstick while the heroine is normally seen in pink or red. If that is not enough, the Bindhi on villainess forehead is so big that it looks like a stop button indicating she has come to stop every good thing from happening. While in real, every time I want to pick up a dark lipstick shade for a change, I think twice, will it make me look like a villain? In reality and in my experience, Women who are not afraid to make bold choices be it a bold colored lipstick, bindhis or speak their mind, are the one who you can depend on.

All in all, Bollywood has given us a great entertainment and it is safe to say that we literally grew up around these movies that made us dance, sing, have fun and fall in love. But there are movies that might be a failure in the box office, no great songs yet the best in acting which is what movies are all about.

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